i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
