I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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