I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
