Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize
