so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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