we have officially lost it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
