what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
