and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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