Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
