google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
