dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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