we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
