dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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