Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
