i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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