So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
