I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
