thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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