He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize