I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize