we have officially lost it.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
