I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
