i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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