1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
