i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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