She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm like, not good at living.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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