yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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