i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
