yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
