it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
