Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
