He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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