ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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