i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
