If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
