been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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