Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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