He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
