Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
