I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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