All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
