Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
