just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize