I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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