If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Enjoy the penises
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
