let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
