is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
