we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
