Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
They have beer where we have blood.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
that may or may not have been my penis.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
