Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize