i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
