So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
