We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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