Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
