His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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