Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
