apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
