I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
