if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
they need to just BURY HIM!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
