So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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