Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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