so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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