Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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