just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
