You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
